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Sunday, 2 September 2012

The Bad Boyfriend A-Z - E is for Egotism

The Egotistical Acrostic

As with all my posts this is about a man, not previously discussed, but incredibly deserving of a place in the A-Z, I hope you enjoy this little poem. No pics today, as I'm posting from a train, enjoy!

THE EGOTISTICAL ACROSTIC

Every Friday night, was nothing short of a nightmare...

Going out was such a drama, he spent hours on his hair

Or his tan, it wasn't streaky (and)

To the world he looked so buff, (but)

Inside his head was empty, like a bubble full of fluff

Shit... What was I doing with this guy?

The girls thought he was perfect, and he believed it too

I marvelled at his veet routine, his armpits were so smooth (and orange, seriously who tans their armpits?)

Casually I mentioned, his narcissist traits

And that he might need help, because it's not too late (to become a normal bloke)

Like a rocket he exploded in a firework of anger and told
me I'd been cheating with the guy from Pret a Manger, And with that he tried to leave the room but on his arm I grabbed
and made him bleed, (it's not my fault I screamed),
but it was too late (as I had already maimed his perfect skin) the wounded man he fled.
(after he went into the bedroom to collect his straightners and Touché Éclat).

The End.

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